{37 things}

I know it's the in thing to do to choose a word for the year.
I like that idea, even though I've never really been able to nail down one single word.

But this year I think I chose two words:
peace and purpose.

I have a nasty little tendency to be fearful.
Some fears are little and silly.
Like riding a ferris wheel.
The thought of being on one almost puts me into full panic-attack mode.
The big one at Disneyland?
I'd rather go bungee jumping while holding a tarantula.
But some fears are bigger and uglier and more joy-swallowing.
This year I want those joy-swallowing fears to be replaced with just peace and joy.
{i like what psalm 34:4 says.  radiant joy sounds so much better than fear.}

And then purpose.
I don't want my head to hit the pillow even one night and think that I wasted a day.

Yesterday I celebrated being another year older with a cake made by my favorite bakers.



Thankfully it only had 10 candles for me to blow out instead of 37.



I made a list of how I'd like to fill my days in this 37th year.
I hope this list is going to help me make every day purposeful.
Even on those days where it's only about mopping the floor.

1. go to the alameda flea market.
2. deliver cookies to a friend.
3. write twelve letters.
4. wash my windows.
5. do 100 jump ropes without messing up or stopping.
6. read through the entire bible.
7. have people over more often.
8. read ten books.
9. plant flowers in my backyard.
10. explore a new city.
11. print out my 2012 photos.
12. go away for the weekend with my husband.
13. run a 5k.  even if it's by myself.
14. have coffee with friends once a month.
15.  take a nap on the beach.  or at least close my eyes for 10 minutes.
16.  watch live music.
17.  read pride and prejudice.
18.  organize my closet.
19.  finally learn to do a kipping pull-up.
20. take a yoga class.
21.  get a massage.
22.  read a magazine in the bathtub.
23.  paint my bedroom.
24.  paint colin's room.
25.  hang curtains in the kitchen.
26.  mop the floor twice a week.
27.  take my vitamins every day.
28.  call my grandpa more often.
29.  finish my crochet blanket.
30.  make pillows.
31.  recover my bench.
32.  go to a giants game.
33.  sit outside by the fire pit in the summer at least once a week.
34.  work on avery's baby book.  {poor 3rd child.}
35.  start a quilt.
36.  go to bed by 11.
37.  put something in the blessing jar.  every day.

Today:
3, 28, 36, 37.

this is hard.

I feel like I have nothing to write here
that is even remotely meaningful or appropriate,
given what happened last week.

Friday's tragedy in Newtown has left me raw.
The sadness is there, just under the surface, all day.
I've seen pictures of all those little faces smiling their beautiful gap-toothed smiles,
and I've pictured my own kids.

It was hard to watch the three of them walk into school today.
Really hard.

I've thought about those sweet children's families numerous times every day since Friday.
I dried Avery's hair tonight after her bath and came close to sobbing
for all of those mommies who will never
have the privilege of doing that again.
And for the brave women who gave their lives protecting those babies:
the sacrifice is overwhelming.

It's too hard.

I'm praying for peace for the families
and the other children
and the community of Newtown
and for us all.
Peace we've been promised, if we ask for it.
Peace that transcends all understanding.
Because right now,
that's the only kind of peace that's going to cut it.

I'll draw from that peace when I take the kids to school
the rest of the week,
and watch them walk into their classrooms.
And I'll pray that the only thing they have to worry about
is whether their sandwich has gone soggy by lunchtime.

I'll remember His promises.

{borrowed from julie.}

I can't wait for that day when our broken hearts will have been healed.

dirty socks and a cheerful heart.

I know at this time of year we all should be thinking
of the things we are grateful for.
It's Thanksgiving...that's what we do.
But if I'm being honest, I haven't been focusing on what I am thankful for lately.
I guess you could say I've been in a bit of a mood.

I've been focusing too much on the people that have been less-than nice to me.
I've been lamenting my abs (or lack thereof) that don't seem to exist anymore.
I've moped about silly, selfish things that I want for our house but we can't afford.
I've felt annoyed by kids that don't pick up their socks from the floor
even though I've told them to 197 times.
{that day.}

So dumb.

I have SO much to be grateful for,
and I'm trying to focus on it more.
The mountain of laundry means I have a family to care for.
The busy schedule proves how blessed we are to be able to
provide extra-curricular activities for the kids.
The kitchen counter that seems to always have crumbs on it somewhere
means my family isn't hungry.


{seen here, original here}

For me, talking about my problems isn't my addiction.
It's thinking about them.
Giving them more attention than they deserve.
Feeling anxious or annoyed.
Focusing on them, and not my joys
and my blessings
and all that I have to be grateful for.

So...I'm meditating on this:

Be cheerful no matter what;
pray all the time;
thank God no matter what happens.
This is the way God wants you
who belong to Christ Jesus 
to live.
{1 thessalonians 5:16-18, the message}

Cheerful...no matter what.
Thanking God...no matter what happens.

And I will fold my family's laundry with a happy, grateful heart this weekend.

always, no matter what.

Hey there.

I sure am happy that it's today and not yesterday.
Yesterday was not my favorite day.
And not for the typical "i hate mondays" reason.

Yesterday I had my cardiac ablation.
To make a long story short,
I have an arrhythmia,
which the doctor felt he could correct by
running catheters through the veins in my groin to my heart
and burning away the spots causing the arrhythmia.
That was the plan.

But things didn't quite go as planned.

I woke up during the procedure...three times...
{turns out i was "highly resistant" to the anesthesia...who knew...}
I remember things I wasn't supposed to remember...
it took longer than was planned...
there was pain...
they had to go through an artery in addition to four veins...see above...
and...it was all unsuccessful.

My heart's still got that super bass.

I can't really describe how I feel,
other than extremely disappointed.
Really bummed.
I don't know if it was the meds yesterday
or the hours and hours spent lying on my back in the hospital,
but yesterday I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
I felt like I went through everything I did for nothing
and I should have left the hospital with the "Sucks to Be You" award.
I cried.
A lot.

But then today I've been on the couch thinking.
I thought about my husband who didn't leave my side once yesterday
and who had to help me to the bathroom and feed me and is
taking care of everything here at home while I'm recovering.
And making me laugh even though I tell him to stop because
it hurts my dang groin to laugh.
I thought of my kids who are happy and healthy and told me they had prayed for me while I was gone.
I thought of my parents who took care of my kids all day until late in the evening.
I thought of the many phone calls and texts from family and friends and blog friends
{who...for the record...are real friends too}
and for the friends who brought dinner last night and lunch today.
And I thought about how the prayer I prayed the most was answered:
I prayed that God would allow me to come back to my family,
and He did.

So technically my procedure was unsuccessful.

But I'm still blessed
and God is still good.

{source}

And a million thanks to those of you who told me you were praying or thinking of me.
I felt them all.

i got that super bass.

Wow - a bit of a blog absence over here.
I blame a nasty cold that knocked me on my bee-hind all week.
It was one of my mother's day presents from Gary.
Yay.

But I'm on the mend.
And we've been laying low this week.

I made granola one morning before all my energy ran out.



With milk...over yogurt...eaten by the handful...yum.

We had our first watermelon this week.
Watermelons make it feel like summer.
{which is coming up super fast.  whee!!!!}



Did you see these bowls at Costco?
They're melamine, and come in a pack of four different colors and sizes.
And they have lids!
Awesome.

I'm going to keep it very real
and show you what my kitchen looks like a lot of the time.



Groceries I bought hours earlier that hadn't been put away...
school paperwork...
that morning's coffee cup...
and a roll of toilet paper I carried everywhere since I had run out of kleenex.
Good stuff.

Our hummingbird babies are about to leave the nest.



Aren't they cute!  And...I almost killed them last week.
I went out to peek at them and one of them jumped out of the nest.
I didn't know what to do!
I waited an hour to see if he could fly.
He couldn't.
I put on my gardening gloves and picked him up.
I know: I got to HOLD a BABY hummingbird.  Sweetest thing ever.
I went to put him back in the nest and the other one jumped out!
Drama.  The kids and I were freaking out.
And Riley managed to record it all on the iphone.
{i'll spare you the histrionics.}
But it obviously has a happy ending.  I got them back in the nest.
:)
But...now I think they hate me.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


And...I have a big favor to ask.
I mentioned it before,
but I have a heart arrhythmia.
{does my title make sense now?  nicki minaj?  boom badoom?  anyway....}
Monday I'm having a cardiac ablation.
They're going in and zapping my arrhythmia away.
I'm not going to lie...I'm nervous...but I'm trusting.
I'm trusting that God has a plan for me and my family that is perfect.
And I'm repeating Psalm 94:19 (good news translation):
Whenever I am anxious and worried,
you comfort me and make me glad.
I know I can have a peace about this
impossible without Him.
And I know He's got it all covered.

So...if you think of me Monday morning around 7am cali time...
would you say a prayer?
I would surely appreciate it.

And...I'll see you Tuesday.
Minus the boom badoom.

xo.

milkshakes and the truth.

This week I've spent a lot of time with this guy.
Some of it on the couch with him watching every Lego Ninjago video ever made,
and some of it in the ER.



The ER is not my favorite.

Today he is doing good and sporting a nifty little heart monitor.
So, naturally, when you wear a heart monitor, you get to pick a special dinner.



In-N-Out, of course.

And...because God just knew I needed it,
Proverbs 3:5, right there underneath the vanilla milkshake.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;"

This verse means so much right now.
And I love that God were reminded us of this truth with a milkshake.
How awesome is that.

he > the world.

I'm feeling a little introspective tonight.
I don't know why...
guess I feel like spring 2012 has been kind of a doozy.
It's not been my favorite.
And this afternoon I was talking with friends about sick kids,
and sad circumstances, and things that just generally seem unfair in life.
Ugh...sorry...I'm sure I'll be back to regular programming tomorrow.


But the older I get, and the more life I live,
the more I realize just how much I need this:

{lifted from julie, of course.}


Life is tough sometimes, isn't it?
It's beautiful and fun and full of blessings and happy times,
but also stressful and scary and exhausting and worrisome.
Raise your hand if you could use a dose
of overflowing confident hope?
{meeeeeee!!}




When my brain starts going,
and I start worrying about these three little gadget-lovers,
or about Gary or a hundred other life things,
I have to stop and think about and meditate on this:


"I have told you all this so that you may have
peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many 
trials and sorrows.
But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
John 16:33


Take heart.
The world has nothing on Him.


********************

And...because I'm in need of some lightness,
watch this.





Awesome.
I kind of love them.
And I guess I should go clean my kitchen.


{and i don't think you can see the video in google reader....sorry.}

insta news and other stuff.

Did you hear?
Android users...welcome to Instagram!
Instagram now has an app for the Android.
Come join the party!
{i'm 'foreverfoldinglaundry' if you want to find me.}
Definitely my favorite app.

Anyway...
crazy, crazy busy times around these parts.
March and April are now officially the craziest of months.


{i love alyssum.  the boys made these in sunday school.}

I love this time of year, though, despite the amount of crazy going on.
It's a season of hope and renewal and life.
This season, especially, God has been so faithful to me.
I asked for prayers a few weeks ago - and thanks to those of you who prayed.
He's answering them.

I love Psalm 34:4-5 (The Message):
"God met me more than halfway,
He freed me from my anxious fears.
Look at Him; give Him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from Him."

Uh, yeah.  I have not been hiding my feelings from Him lately.
He may be getting a bit sick of me.
:)

I have a little heart issue
that may require surgery.
It has made me very anxious and scared.
Beyond anxious, actually.
{the words 'catheter' + 'vein' + 'groin' can do that to you.}
BUT - I made the choice to stop being anxious
and to give it all over to God in prayer.
What a freedom.
I'm not sure yet what will become of it all,
but I do know that He has a plan for me,
and that plan is good.

Amen to that.

So tomorrow...the craziness continues.
Preschool parties and classroom volunteering and major class auction project-making.
But...my favorite guy will be around for lunch,
so we have a date.
Can't wait.

Love to you, friends.
Hope you have a great Wednesday planned.

life, sometimes.

I feel so disconnected from this space lately.
I haven't checked in with all my blog peeps in so long.
I miss you all.


Sometimes life has a way of getting all up in your face,
and really messing with you.


Right now life is kind of messing with me.
I have a health-related decision to make,
and it's occupying a big space in my brain.
I've mentioned to you before that I'm a worrier.
It's my natural tendency, always.


BUT....
I know God tells me not to worry.
Actually...commands me not to worry.


So I'm reading and praying Isaiah 41:10
and Philippians 4:6-7
and Matthew 11:28-30
and Proverbs 3:5-6 :

**Trust in the Lord with all your heart; 

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,

and he will show you which path to take.**

So I'm trusting that his plan for me and for our family is perfect.

Any extra space in your prayers?

I sure wouldn't mind if you slipped my name in there.


Thanks, friends.

********************

Okay, on a lighter note,

I love this girl.

I hope she does her "homework" while holding Pooh for a very long time.

And she is, I think, officially the bravest of our kids.
She rode the roller coasters at Disneyland with her hands in the air.


One thing I love about coming home from vacation
is not having to eat out anymore.
I get so tired of restaurant food after a couple of days!
Breakfast this weekend: baked oatmeal with apples and walnuts
and coffee.  
Heavy on the half and half. :)





Yum.
I'm hungry.
I think that means it's time for bed.


'night.

all is calm. finally.

As of yesterday,
Christmas break is on.

School is out until next year,
and Gary has some time off of work.
Happy dance!!

The kids are spending the night at my parents'
so Gary and I had a last minute Christmas gift
shopping date today.
That seems to be one of our traditions:
shopping and dinner.
I kinda like it.
I kinda like him.

Tonight we're wrapping
and watching Christmas Vacation.
Raise your hand if you can pretty much quote the entire movie?
Me.
Love it.
{favorite line: "you serious, clark?"}

Here are a few instashots of our week.

The fort that took over the living room for 10 or so  hours.

Coffee:
drink and repeat.
More cream, please.

You may not be able to tell from this picture,

but she's losing weight.

Quickly.

Poor fat girl had a thyroid problem.

Sooooo tempted to steal one of her canine magic pills. 

:)

{kidding}

The crew t-shirt for the as-yet-unnamed
movie that Gary's working on.
I know nothing about it.
Mysterious....

The night-before-the-class-parties 10 pm tradition.
Also tradition: wondering why I always wait until the night before.

The cutest Christmas fabric ever
became the cutest Christmas skirt and shirt.
Jesus, Mary, Joseph matryoshka dolls?
Yes, please!

If we don't chat before,

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.

Hug your family,

eat lots of cookies,

and thank Santa for whatever he brings you.

And, most importantly, remember

the Gift we were all given.

Linus really said it best.

gifts. and pinterest.

Unless you have been living underneath
an internet rock,
by now you are familiar with Pinterest.
It's an awesome place
to see the work of others
and be inspired to do something,
or create something.

If you're like me,
sometimes it's easy to look at what others are doing
and compare yourself.
Maybe even get caught up in feelings
of inadequacy.

Maybe your photography isn't as great as someone else's.
Or you can't write as eloquently as someone else.
Or you can't reach out to people as easily as that other person does.

Sometimes it's easy to think that since we can't do things
as well as someone else,
that we don't have any gifts to share.
We're wrong.

And it's good to have a reminder.

My inspiration was this project.
{found here, via pinterest.}
So lovely!

(source: the lettered cottage)

I wanted a version in my house,
so I called my favorite woodworker
and asked him if he could make me the slatted wood base.
{he called me two hours later from home depot, wanting dimensions.  he doesn't mess around.}

He delivered the wooden base to me a few days later,
but it has taken me quite a bit longer to decide what to paint.

Finally, I decided on Romans 12:8 NLT.

I want my kids to know that they have been
blessed with gifts that are unique to them.

I like how it says "If your gift is...",
and not, "if you have a gift...".
Your gift may be showing kindness or being encouraging.
Making meals for someone who could use it.
Running to the grocery store for a sick friend.
Gladly letting someone else go in front of you
in Target when they have only a few items.

I'm not sure yet where this is going to live in our house.
But I like the reminder that we all have gifts to share.

What are yours?

{linking up with jess, who i know has the gift of showing kindness to others.}

today, instead.

Today I had planned to post about our silly Halloween costumes
from the party we went to this weekend.

Today, instead, my heart is heavy,
because a classmate of Riley's,
and the niece of a dear friend,
is fighting - hard - for a recovery.

She has been battling viral meningitis for several weeks now,
and is not doing well.
She is experiencing complications
and it is clear that she is in need of a lot of prayer.

For those of you who pray,
I ask that you could please take a moment
and lift up nine year old Giselle.
I know you don't know her,
but please pray for her healing.
Please pray for endurance and peace for her family.
Please pray for a miraculous recovery and that she would
walk out of the hospital on her own.

Don't be afraid, for I am with you.

Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

I will hold you up with my victorious right had.

Isaiah 41:10


Thank you, friends.

insta friday - the 'i have no title' edition

Warning: random bunch of pictures to follow.

Last Saturday morning,
I was sitting alone on the patio,
reading through Galatians.
I love Galatians.
I especially love Galatians 5:6.
'What is important is faith expressing itself through love.'
Love it.
Faith and love.

Then, after some quiet time alone,
a little pancake love for the fam.

Sunday morning we headed over the Bay Bridge
to celebrate a certain ten year old's birthday.
It's a pretty bridge.

Bye, Alcatraz.
Most beautiful SF day ever.

I'm not ok with how tall she is getting.
{those boots light up, by the way.  her faves.}

When we got home,
I made birthday treats.
Cake batter rice krispies are a big hit.

I cut three or so inches off of my hair Tuesday.
This is my before.

No after shot yet.
I'm still figuring out how to do it.
{i don't think it's too drastic, though.  gary didn't even notice till i pointed it out.}

This is what she did while I was getting my hair cut.

Thinking of her sitting on that floor with, probably, lots of hair on it
grosses. me. out.

A cranky little person who woke up at 5am this morning
needed a little Great Pumpkin time today.
While wearing a tiara.

And that same cranky little person ended up like this at 5:30 this evening.
Hmmm.
Asleep at 5:30.

This could be good or very very bad.
I'll let you know.

one sweet weekend.

This weekend was a whirlwind.
My friend Liz and I headed to our kids' soccer games Saturday morning,
and then Saturday afternoon hopped on a plane to Long Beach.

We spent our Saturday strolling around downtown Seal Beach,
eating the best fish tacos ever,
watching the sun set over the Pacific,
and then meeting a bunch of great friends for cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory
at Fashion Island.
{ooh la la - fashion island.  tres fancy.}

Sunday morning Liz, Kate, and I wandered around Huntington Beach
and shopped {hello, havaiana's store!}
and lunched and people-watched from our table at Fred's.

And then we headed to this:

I listened to my friend Julie and the awesome Jeannett speak about using your blog to uplift others.
I listened to the sweet Lindsey Cheney speak about balancing a business and family.
I listed to my friend Meg speak about God using each and every one of us in a unique way.
I saw great friends
and worked up a major sugar high thanks to all of the goodies.

And the thing about these great friends:
with the exception of Liz, we met through our blogs.
And I get it...that kind of sounds weird.
I could see it on friends' faces when I told them where I was going last weekend.
They were thinking:
that's weird.
You're weird.

I guess it's possible. :)


But the thing about "blog" friends,
is that they become real friends.
They are real people with real stories who choose to share those stories on their blogs.

And I'm sorry I didn't get more pictures of these lovely ladies,
but I left inspired.
I'm inspired to share more and love more and serve more.

And...I left with a new pair of Havaianas for Avery and I.
Score.

good day / bad day / good day

I liked yesterday.

My college roommate and her
cutest-ever-curly-haired daughter came to visit and spent the afternoon.
She and I don't get to see each other as much as we'd like,
but she is the type of friend that
no matter the time that passes since we've seen each other last,
we pick right up.
We laugh easily together.
I'm comfortable with her, always.
She's my sister-from-another-mister.
:)

She got the pleasure
{ha}
of watching me prepare food
for last night.
It was my turn to host my bingo group.
{and yes, i am aware that makes me sound like an 80 year old woman.}

For the last six months or so,
a group of girlfriends have been getting together
once a month for bingo.
Every month the hostess chooses a theme,
and every guest brings a $15 gift related to the theme.
When you win a bingo round, you choose a gift.
My theme last night:
bring your favorite {$15} thing.
Kitchen gadget...lip gloss...gift certificate...whatever.

{my favorite thing?  this.  it will change your life.  get one.}

I so love a good party prep.
Especially one that involves mason jars.

{straws from here}

I saw this idea on pinterest.

Freeze lemon and lime slices with water in a muffin tin.
It looks pretty,
but I think I put too many citrus cubes in the water.
It was quite lemon-ey.

I had never made any of these things before.
The margarita lime cookies were so good.
They were very moist and lime-y.
The recipe is from here.

And the baked brie?
Delish, and super easy.
Recipe here.

The girls came,
and we laughed and talked and bingo-ed.
And someone may have tried on a pair of spanx they received as their gift.
It was a good day.

Today...not as awesome.
I woke up with a migraine.
A pretty bad one.
The kids fought and whined.
A lot.
They watched too much tv,
because I was holed up in a dark room.
The day was pretty much a blur,
and I was feeling pretty whiny too.

Then I read about this little girl.
For her 9th birthday on June 12, she wanted to raise $300 for Charity:Water.
She asked family to donate to Charity:Water rather than give her gifts.
They did, but she fell $80 short of her goal.
She figured she'd ask family and friends again on her 10th birthday.
She never got the chance, as she was killed in a car accident last week.
Her story got out,
and as of this moment her Charity:Water page has raised $508,246.
Inspiring.

I stopped whining.

I ended the day sitting outside by the fire with my favorite guy.

It actually was a good day.

a good day

Today is a good day.

The kids are out of school
and we spent a good chunk of time with friends today
at an Easter party.
The kids hunted eggs
and the mommies chatted and ate croissant sandwiches
and Costco jalepeno artichoke dip.
Eating that stuff is the closest I'll ever come
to knowing what being hooked on crack is like.

At home, the kids dyed eggs
and have the green fingers to prove it.

The smell of vinegar always,
always,
reminds me of dying Easter eggs.

Colorful eggs are a mighty happy sight.

{fun fact: it is tough for me to resist the urge
to have the kids make their eggs perfect.
i cringe when they want to put an orange egg in the purple dye.
"ugh, really?  orange and purple? 
i mean...orange and purple?  okayyyyyy, sounds great!"
i think next year i'll boil a few for myself
to do on my own to help satisfy
my type-a perfectionist urges.}

Sorry.  Moving on.

My laundry is just about finished and put away.
Except for the socks.  I hate matching up the socks.

All of those things alone make this a good day.

It's really, truly, good, however, for another reason entirely:
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
(Romans 5:8)

That's it.
That's the good.
That's what it's all comes down to.

Happy {Good} Friday.